Shoulding All Over Yourself

NLP, shoulderingHow many times a week, or even a day for that matter, do you find yourself saying “I really should do…”?

In NLP it’s called “shoulding all over yourself” and for me “shoulding” is the difference between living your life to others’ expectations or living authentically – true to your inner self.

This is a fun exercise that is thought-provoking and possibly transformational.

It is something to do in a pair so find yourself a person you’re comfortable with – or your coach – to carry it out. Have fun!

Person 1: Make a list of five or six ways to finish the sentence “I should…”

Person 2: After your partner says “I should…” ask, “Why?” (Do not comment, just write their answer down).

Person 1: Now take the “I should” sentences and instead of starting the sentence with “I should”, start them with “If I really wanted to, I could…”

Person 2: As person 1 does this, ask them, “Why haven’t you?”

Person 2: When person 1 has finished answering why they haven’t done the thing, get them to look at what is on their “I should” list that they can drop with relief and ease?

Person 1: Identify what other actions you can choose to take rather than those you have dropped.


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