I am so grateful for this new understanding in my personal development, my journey and my healing. Together with mindfulness and meditation, the Enneagram has given me a new way of being.
I am now back in England and while I face the same issues I left behind, I am navigating the map with greater ease. I am stronger, I have increased self-compassion that helps me cope with and, more importantly, stay with painful feelings that emerge.
Working the Enneagram does require courage and rigorous honesty but in return it offers the possibility of breakthroughs – of freedom from the restraints of old addictive behaviour patterns.
For me, it complemented the traditional 12-Step model for addressing addiction and offered a more profound spiritual connection as well as an alternative understanding of the ‘Higher Power’, which some people struggle with.
I have been amazed by how I can now understand my inner world – seeing clearly my ‘issues’ as they manifest through the filters of the distortions and defences of my personality type. The awareness can be painful at times but the revelations and clarity, the rewards of greater understanding, are immense.
The ability to also see others’ pain beneath their defence mechanisms is really helping in managing my relationships and family dynamics.
Daily life still brings challenges, doubts and fear-based thoughts but the difference is in the way I listen to, observe and accept those fears and voices. When I throw the light of awareness onto my thought processes – with compassion, understanding, curiosity and acceptance – calmness rises and dissolves the power of negative thoughts.
Being present in the moment exposes the fears for what they truly are – thoughts triggered from personality defence mechanisms; an ego trying in vain to protect and defend and to run from the pain it has caused.
Now it is time to stop running and I am choosing how I live my life rather than being dominated by fear.
I don’t mean that I get to choose what events will arise in my day, or how many challenging interactions I will have with the world. That is all out of my control.
What I do get to choose is how I will perceive these situations and whether I throw the light of awareness onto my reactions.
I am so grateful for finding this path to understanding the torments of a life time and to New Life and all the wonderful people who have supported me through this exciting transition.
I thank you so much for your warmth, empathy, compassion, and understanding, in working with me on this life-changing experience.